We have grown up in a world of polarity. And have assumed that there is conflict between the two. That somehow light must defeat darkness. That light is good and darkness is bad. And to fight the great war between the two is the reason we are born. To become a holy warrior is the greatest calling. Yet we fail to see that the darkness and light of life are inseparable. There is no light without shadow, there is no up without down, there is no youth without age, no birth without death. There is no yang without yin. We cannot escape the world of polarity; we exist because of it. No male without female, and no child without those 2 polarities joining together in the midst of love, care, and bonding. It is that whole context that contains the polarity and allows the polarity to dance with creativity. We exist because of polarity and we find joy, insight and creation in the mixing of polarity, the synergy of polarity, the alchemy of polarity.
Yet we hold on to outdated narratives that espouse a separation of the two poles, a polarization, and the destruction or domination of one polarity by the other: men over women, mind over body, logic over emotion, rationality over empathy, machine over nature, good over evil. It does make sense that moving from a state of violence and suffering to a greater state of peace and understanding leads to wonderful changes in our world, but how did we come to the conclusion that we need to destroy one part of the picture to arrive there?
How did we arrive at the idea peace is found in the war between polarity? Is it really the differences between men and women that are the source of conflict between the sexes? Or is the source of conflict between the immaturity of self-centered viewpoints that grab for power and position vs. the greater recognition of the polarity of our collective being, a recognition of systemic existence? Isn’t it a question of depth of understanding and wisdom? Not a question of who is more powerful and effective in conflict? Isn’t it obvious that when we as a collective flourish, that supports each individual and that when a mature individual is successful, they support the collective?
Do we need to have to be in opposition with someone to in order to be successful? Is being successful mean winning over someone else? Or is it true what the master of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba, declared, “True success lies in winning over the discord in our own mind”. True success lies in “winning over the discord”. Winning over the discord, from my perspective points to resolving that discord, addressing the crisis and guiding it to creativity, feeling the imbalance and moving back to balance, bringing the unsustainable pressure into dynamic flow.
What does it mean to win over the discord in our mind? What does it mean to face that discord? What brings up discord? Usually it is based on something that we feel is a threat, something that we fear.